Subourbon Mom

Every once in a while I have a great business idea, and if someone ever acts on them, just throw some of your millions my way to say thanks.

The other day I made my sort-of annual visit to the “girl doctor.” Now, I know that we all have to check our dignity at the door for that particular visit. my way of coping is to stare at the annoyingly cheerful pictures of kittens and tropical beaches taped to the ceiling, willing myself away to my happy place while they do whatever they have to do.

Which brings me to my question about OBGYN visits: With all of our medical knowledge and scientific advancements, why does visiting the OBGYN still have to be so awkward and uncomfortable?

Spas have heated massage tables – why must we lay on a cold, vinyl-covered table in a chilly room wearing a tissue paper “robe?” How about a heated table and some steamy towels instead?

And for that matter, since we end up waiting interminably for the doctor to arrive once we’re scantily clad, why not add cup holders and a minibar so we can relax a little bit? If they can add stirrups, they can add cup holders.

We have medicine to eliminate pain, repair skin and counteract venom. How have we not developed OBGYN instruments and examination rooms to make an awkward situation less…awkward?

So, while I was in the waiting room, I started Googling on my phone. For those of you that know me, this is NEVER A GOOD THING.

I learned that medical instrument sales and manufacturing is an estimated $133 billion industry. The sex toy industry, pre-Fifty Shades of Gray, was about $15 billion, and estimated to reach $52 billion by 2020. So how is it that these two industries have not gotten into bed together and made gynecological instruments that are more comfortable? To me, mating these products should be an obvious business decision.

The main tool that’s used looks (to me) pretty much like a curling iron with a light attached to the end. When I looked at the ones for sale (because for some reason you can just buy these on eBay – exactly who is buying this stuff?), they were all metal or acrylic. Why not make them out of the same latex-free materials that (I hear) are on sex toys? In fact, why stop there? Why not put a heater in there too? Our body temperature is 98.6 degrees – why on earth are we using instruments that feel like an icicle?

If these two industries could just swipe right and meet in the middle, I guaranty women would be more likely to come.

In fact, if all those crazy sex toys ads that clutter up our email are even remotely true, by using their technology OBGYN medical instrument manufacturers could change how women view going to that particular kind of doctor – in fact, they could revolutionize the industry. Preventative OBGYN medicine would become the norm as women no longer dreaded their visits, but actually looked forward to them. Disease rates would decline with early detection. Jobs would be created as new product lines are developed and manufacturing could return to the U.S.

So their you have it folks – how I would bring the “O” (I mean “occupations”, you gutter-minded people) back to the dreaded OBGYN visit.

Great idea! One doctor had cartoons on her ceiling. That helped a little.

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Comment by energywriter June 21, 2016 @ 3:29 pm

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Thanks Sharon! I’ll let you know if my dr adopts any of these ideas!

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Comment by libbyhall June 21, 2016 @ 3:42 pm

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Sounds brilliant, the only concerns I had were instrument sterilization and added expense. But why not make the Doctor’s Office experience a spa for all genders? I for one could use a few glasses of wine and a heated table with towels while anxiously waiting for the doctor. The dentist makes me just as anxious.

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Comment by nombre de la pluma June 21, 2016 @ 3:55 pm

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Excellent idea! When you mentioned sterilization all I could picture was that free jar of blue stuff that the hair stylist puts combs in. 😷 And I’m sure my dentist would greatly appreciate it if I would stop clawing at the arm rests before she even gets started.

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Comment by libbyhall June 27, 2016 @ 12:56 pm

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