“This is Homeland Security”

September 22, 2014, 12:40 am
Filed under: Misc. Humor | Tags: adulthood, humor, Internal Revenue Service, IRS, marketing, news, phones, scams, south, southern, subourbonmom, telemarketers

Hi there, y’all—my apologies for the recent hiatus, but we had a death in the family, and it has been a grueling time for all of us. Now that things are settling down a bit, I can come up for air and share with y’all some of the other craziness that’s been going on outside of all of that.

The other day, my friend Gail received a phone call from a number she didn’t recognize. Against her better judgment, she answered it. A heavily-accented, female voice said, “Hello, my name is Julie Smith and I am from the Internal Revenue Service.”

Gail: “No you’re not. Take me off your call list and don’t call me again,” and hung up.

Ten minutes later the phone rang again. Annoyed, Gail answered, ready to put a stop to it.

Caller: “Hello, this is Julie Smith from the Internal Revenue Service.”

Gail: “No it’s not. Do you know that calling with a scam is illegal in the United States? Now take me off your call list. ” She hung up again.

Another ten minutes goes by and the same number calls her again. Gail picks up the phone.

Caller (male this time): “Hello, this is (something unintelligible) from the Internal Revenue Service.”

Gail: “No, you’re not! Do you know that making scam calls is a terrorist activity? And that terrorist activity in the United States is punishable by death?”

Caller: “No, this is not a scam. This is the Internal—“

Gail: “No, you’re not!” She hung up.

Gail waited about twenty minutes, then called the number back. A new voice answered. “You have reached the Internal Revenue Service—“

Gail (in a very stern voice): “This is Homeland Security. Identify yourself.”

Caller: “I-I-uh-…this is not a scam!”

Gail: “This is Homeland Security. Identify yourself.”

Caller: “This not a scam! It’s not a scam!”

Gail: “This is Homeland Security. We have identified your location. I suggest you identify yourself.”

Caller: “I’m so sorry! It is a scam! It is a scam!…I LOVE YOU!”

The caller hung up.

I wonder if that would work for the political calls we will be getting from now until November…

20 more ways to get rid of a telemarketer….