Subourbon Mom

C’s Get Degrees in Life – I’m Ok With That
April 27, 2017, 7:00 pm
Filed under: Exercise, Posts

I used to try hard to be that perfect wife (although Hubby may beg to differ), the perfect mom, the perfect employee, the perfect owner of this body, and a good citizen.

It was so cute that I thought those things were actually achievable.  But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized none of these perfect people exist.

Perfect wifeThe perfect wife doesn’t exist – based on what I’ve heard men talk about, that’s actually an impossibility, considering we are generally out of commission for a week every month, and it’s illegal to marry your mother.  Those socks aren’t picking themselves up off the floor, My Love.

The perfect mom doesn’t exist either. I tried (briefly) to be the organic mom, but I just don’t have the patience, I shave my legs and I don’t wear Jerusalem Cruisers every day. So Daughter #2 lived off of Nestle Quik in the womb.  As a parent in a world where kids have porn at their fingertips, I’ve tried to tell my kids the right amount of information, but not too much: “No, I will not tell you the worst things I did in middle school,” was me being protective of all of us, but telling them “Tea-bagging is…” may not have been the best move.  Nope – not perfect.

Perfect parent

I also tried to get the fam to church so the kids can at least make an informed decision when they are old enough. But like many people with kids in sports and crazy schedules we fell off the wagon.  We used to go at least once a month and felt pretty self-righteous by 11:30 am on those Sundays; then we became “C&E Christians,” only going on the BIG DAYS.  Now we’re pretty much just “W&F Christians” – Weddings and Funerals.

Yeah…so not perfect there either. That actually might be a C- or a D.

As an employee, I’m probably a B- (if only that brain-to-mouth filter actually worked).

Muffin topI even try to be good to my body, but let’s face it – you’d have to have the discipline of the Dalai Lama to turn down all the yummy treats that float by every day.  Plus, that whole middle-aged bike tire that recently wrapped itself around my waist has made that goal frustrating. Why starve myself if it’s just going to hang around my waist like a boa constrictor that’s too lazy to finish me off?


Yeah, I’ve become pretty comfortable with the fact that life is a lot like school –  C’s get degrees.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m grateful for those of you who are A and B achievers in life – you make my “C” life possible and comfortable. So, here’s my pledge:   I’ll try not to always be that kid sitting in the back of the classroom, flicking spit balls at people and making drip noises with my cheeks while you all run the world. I’ll try to pay attention and contribute, even when I’m not called upon.

I might even get my own recycling bin.



1 Comment so far
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Amen, sister!


Comment by lynchburggal70

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