10 Commandments of Christmas Shopping at The Mall
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I am the mall. Thou feareth me and loveth me. I am the mall.- Thou shall bring no false values before me, like budgets or credit limits.
- Thou shalt not take my name in vain, especially when referring to the unbearably long list of Christmas errands you still have to do because you waited until the last minute. It is not my faulteth you procrastinateth.
- Remember Black Friday, and keep it holy.
- Honor thy sales and thy markdowns.
- Thou shalt not kill…time hanging out in Starbucks or restaurants. Thy shopping list loometh.
- Thou shalt not steal thy neighbor’s parking spot when clearly, his indicators blinketh.
- Thou shalt not bear false witness against The Mall. Own up to where you have been; likewise, own up to the time thou killed while chatting with thy neighbor instead of shopping, and the silver thou hast spent.
- Thou shalt not covet thy fellow shopper’s loot. They arrivethed first.
- Thou shall visit no other retailers but me, especially not Amazon, Wal-mart or Target.
6 Comments so far
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Perfect.
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Comment by sbhankins December 17, 2019 @ 5:30 pmGlad you liked it!
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Comment by subourbonmom December 27, 2019 @ 1:52 pmI love it! Merry Xmas!
Sa
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Comment by Sue ann December 17, 2019 @ 9:14 pmI’m sure some people in my family appreciate this more than others (D1 and D2)!
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Comment by subourbonmom December 27, 2019 @ 1:53 pmFunny!
sd
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Comment by energywriter December 20, 2019 @ 7:54 pmThanks! I had fun with that one.
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Comment by subourbonmom December 27, 2019 @ 1:52 pm