Filed under: Country Living, mental health, Misc. Humor, Posts | Tags: adulthood, animals, anxiety, Birds, cows, de-stress, family, health, humor, mental health, mindfulness, self-care, stress relief, videos
I know different people have different ways that they relax. My family, except for me, finds puzzling a fun, relaxing thing to do. Me? Not so much. I get frustrated and annoyed, partly because I don’t get instant gratification, but also because I’m competitive and it takes too long to get a win.
Wait – competitive…with puzzling? How is that possible?
Well, in our family, SOME people give each completed piece three annoying taps for completion emphasis. Dude, I saw it – no need to gloat-tap. Then there’s the secret and not-so-secret tally that they keep in their head…until they don’t.
So yes, puzzling can be competitive in our house, and it’s not relaxing.
But what I do find disturbingly relaxing is watching Nate the Hoof Guy on social media as he cleans, files, and repairs nasty cow hoof after nasty cow hoof.
It’s amazing.
At first, I thought I liked them because I love horses, and I also like watching farriers work at our barn – but it’s more than that.
Farriers of all kinds every day do back-breaking, precise work that requires a high level of knowledge, skill, experience and patience. What’s amazing is how much videos of what they do satisfy my need for the cleaning, leveling and instant gratification that comes from hoof cleaning. I think it’s a passive way for me to feel like there is control in a world where things often feel so out of control.
Yep, I could watch him sand the hooves, then scrape away layer by layer until the problem is found. Even the spraying away of all the dirt and manure and other barn funk is satisfying. And if he gets to the layer where an infection or abscess breaks through?
That is THE BEST.
And it’s not just horse people who watch these videos. I’ve had so many people admit that they also secretly watch them and find them satisfying. I guess it’s something along the lines of Dr. Pimple Popper. However, that show just grosses me out. Human fluids are just nasty.
Would it be healthier for me to just clean my own space better? Or spend as much time on my skin care routine as I do watching Nate care for those cow hooves? Probably. But if this is what I find relaxing at the end of the evening and it helps me wind down enough to read the same three sentences of my book before I fall asleep, well, I’m going to keep on watching.
Another soothing video to watch is the 3-hour video of birds at a feeder in the woods.
These were originally made for cats to watch, and that’s how I got started. Our elderly cat Izzy was sick before she passed away and became very needy. So, I set up my old laptop next to my work laptop and watched that video for hours at a time. She loved it – and so did I. Even though we live in the woods and I see virtually the same thing from my window, something about that video was incredibly soothing. For a few weeks after Izzy died, I still played the video to relax.
So, find what you need – it may not be videos, or reading – it may be music, or stretching or twirling your hair while staring into space. But in a world as crazy as ours is right now, I think it’s okay to find your stress relievers where you can.
Filed under: Middle Age, Misc. Humor, Posts | Tags: 2025, adulthood, anxiety, depression, goals, humor, life, mental health, new year, personal growth, positive, resolutions
Usually at this time of year I post something about New Year resolutions and re-post a previous blog about body image. And yes, one of my resolutions is to get back to writing this blog. (I’ll still repost the body image blog, because I think it’s valid.) But, this year I really want to remind everybody to take a second and look back over the last few months, or year, or even five years, and see how far you’ve come. For some of you, that may mean taking off your readers for a few minutes to see farther back than yesterday. I’ll wait while you tap the top of your head, trying to remember if you actually have them on or not.
You do, because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this.
Ready? Ok.
Anyway…New Year resolutions are all about becoming a better person, or maybe just being less of a dick. Side note – one of my favorite gifts this year is this dish towel:
So that’s where my expectations are for people these days.
However, I think that before you make unrealistic resolutions for 2025, you should take a look at the positive changes that have happened in your life over the last year. Sometimes they are huge, like getting a new job, losing a bunch of weight or cutting someone toxic out of your life. Sometimes they may be as small as learning a new skill at work, like the fact that not every email deserves a response, or making it through an entire movie without also playing a game on your phone or scrolling through social media.
And, sometimes things that seem small are in fact HUGE – like going through a dark time and just plodding your way through, one day after another, until things get just a little bit better.
Whatever you’ve accomplished, take a second to acknowledge that you have had some triumphs. If it’s not 9:00am, maybe even have a glass of champagne to celebrate – unless you’re doing the Dry January thing (which I am). In that case you can always choose to substitute alcohol with a giant box of Cheese-Itz or other favorite snack food (which I do on the regular now). I mean Jesus, give yourself SOME kind of reward. You say you’re not or can’t afford to be food/drink motivated? Then reward yourself with something you like to do. If I’m not eating Rice Krispy treats or cheese in any form, my reward is to read fairy smut.
Don’t judge.
Some of you like biographies about celebrities with drug and sex addictions, real-life thrillers with some truly screwed up characters, and self-help books that are just cringey. I was in the airport for a significant amount of time this weekend and I saw what y’all are reading. At least fairies are fake.
So before you get that planner you’ll never fill out, join that gym you’ll quit in two months or start on ruin your knees by running 3 miles a day when you’ve been a couch potato for the last year, remember that you accomplished some stuff this year. It’s not anybody else’s business what that was – they don’t know your experiences, struggles or inner goals that you set for yourself. Most likely they wouldn’t understand or appreciate it. But you do – so go get that cheese or champagne or book that you don’t want anyone to know that you read over and over again (I see you, ACOTAR people). You deserve a little celebration as well as a little improvement.
Filed under: Middle Age | Tags: adulthood, aging, Boomers, GenX, mental health, Middle-Age, time management
I was recently talking to a friend and asked what he was reading. He said 4,000 Weeks – Time Management For Mortals. Apparently, it’s a book about the challenge of how best to use our four thousand weeks, the average length of a human life.
So I started thinking – how do I want to spend my remaining weeks? I immediately had visions of world travel, novels and stories I want to write, things I want to buy (and sell). I’m in my 50’s, so my weeks are dwindling. If I’m lucky I’ve probably got somewhere in the neighborhood of 1300 weeks where most of the big ideas would still be options.
I will still be working for the next 350 weeks or so, assuming all goes well. There are very few weeks in those 500 for world travel and other big bucket list items.
The pressure is on.
But I would caution that thinking of time in that way could have some unforeseen repercussions:
Creating bucket list goals that may not be attainable or that takes away from current “quality” time being spent in other ways.
Minimizing the value of spending time doing regular-life things. Doing chores allows you to appreciate the result of those chores. There is satisfaction in accomplishing little goals as well as huge life-changing ones.
Minimizing the value of being part of someone else’s quality time. If we all have limited weeks, it may be hard to appreciate the value of being part of someone else’s bucket list item or lifetime goal. Walking the dog may not always be the grandiose or high-quality way we’d like to spend our time, but to the dog it means everything.
Instilling unnecessary regrets for “wasting” time in the past. Regrets over the fact that you spent an entire weekend watching Beavis and Butt-Head are wasted thoughts. Those hours at the very least provide a roadmap for how you might manage your time differently moving forward.
But if you still have regrets, think about it this way: what if you did spend that time trekking to New Zealand or climbing mountains or whatever you think is the high-quality way you should have been spending that time? You don’t know if it would have been as amazing as you think it would, or what you might have missed in the interim, or even if the things you define as quality time now would be the same as what was important or vital at that time in your life.
Forgetting to be grateful for what you have in your day-to-day life. Instead of begrudging the fact that you have to spend half your Saturday going to the dump, picking up laundry and grocery shopping, consider the fact that there are many, many people who would love to be able to do those things, if only they had a car, or the funds, or didn’t have a disability or other circumstance preventing them from doing so. Instead, take a second and appreciate that you are able to do those things at all.
It’s always a good thing to stop and check your roadmap. Make sure you’re still heading in the direction you want to go and that you’re on track to hit your goals before you run out of gas.
Just don’t forget to look out the window.
And for God’s sake stop spending your time reading books about how to spend your time. Read something you truly enjoy.
Filed under: Exercise, Food/Drink, Middle Age, Posts | Tags: adulthood, health, humor, mental health, Middle-Age, new year
New year, new me…blah, blah, blah. I don’t like resolutions because I never stick to them. Last year’s resolutions included:
- Drinking less
- Eating healthier
- Losing 10 pounds
- Stretching
- Start jumping in my horseback riding lessons.
Let’s see…in 2023 here’s how that went:
- I honed my bourbon taste buds, took a trip to Ireland and Scotland and discovered after two weeks of tastings and more liver abuse that I still prefer bourbon
- My eating habits leaned farther to the Oreo and pizza side than veggies and protein; therefore I…
- Gained 10 pounds and went up a size – I am now embracing clothes that actually fit instead of trying to squeeze into jeans like a sausage
- I took a stretching class and managed to irritate already gimpy shoulders because…wait for it…I’m weirdly competitive at stretching – against myself
- I had a couple of concussions from falling off horses – not even jumping.
So, screw the resolutions. But I did come across a couple of ideas that might make more sense.
First, someone asked, “Are you acting like summer in winter?” Meaning, why are you working at life with the same energy in winter that you do in the summer? Traditionally, animals and humans in the age of foraging and farming used winter as a time for resting and saving energy – through hibernation, fixing equipment, making and mending clothes, etc. These days it’s often the only quiet time we get, except for that “retreat” somewhere in a mountain setting which costs and arm and a leg, and half your PTO. Winter is a natural time for a lot of us to reflect, to eat hot, nourishing meals that warm our body and soul, and figure our shit out. So, unless you’re an avid winter person who relishes outdoor cold-weather activities, slow your roll and stop acting like its summer. Sometimes having no agenda is an agenda.
The other thing I thought was a good idea was to change the inner voice that groans at 6:00am, “Fuuuuuck, I have to go to the gym,” to “Fuuuuuck, I get to go to the gym because I can afford it and all of my limbs and faculties work well enough to let me get stronger.” Changing from “I have to” to “I get to” may sound like a bunch of new-age think strategy, but it really does help. However, I swear if any of you hear me say anything about a person’s “journey” you get to punch me in the face.
Filed under: Exercise, Food/Drink, Middle Age, Posts, shopping, Spring Break, Travel | Tags: adulthood, Exercise, fitness, humor, mental health, Middle-Age, travel
Ok, so Imposter Syndrome (see my previous blog) doesn’t just happen in sports – it happens as a parent, and even worse, in the mirror.
I don’t know when exactly that it happened, but at some point I started feeling like an imposter in my own body. I would walk by the mirror and catch a glimpse of some person I didn’t recognize, who now has more gray than blond hair, a less curvy body and wrinkly hands,. Then I’d realize that person is me.
WTF? I would think. That can’t be me. After all, my brain hasn’t changed that much since I was 25. I still think poop jokes are funny, that I can do way more physically than I actually can, and I still laugh inappropriately at funerals. My brain also still thinks I’ve got my 25-year-old body – until I go shopping for a bathing suit. Then, I have to deal with my current “beach body.” (Oh, and if I see one more TikTok with some lithe, 18-year-old worrying about getting “beach body ready,” I’m going to…ok, I’m just going to swipe up again in a really, really irritated way.)
Here’s the truth, though: no one else on the beach gives a shit that I didn’t lose those extra 10 pounds, or didn’t go to the gym an extra session a week so I could have a flat stomach.
NO ONE.
And even if they did notice or care, they sure as hell don’t know my body’s story, that the lines on my face are laugh lines and worry lines from years of soccer games, horse shows and family vacations, or that my stomach, with it’s new shape and distribution, housed two other human beings and somehow still supports my spine so I can work at my computer to pay bills.
Appreciate the story your body has to tell. Nobody wants a story that has no plot, no twists and turns, no growth for the main character. Those stories are boring. Be your favorite story and embrace the cover.
Subourbon Mom 