Subourbon Mom


10 Signs You Shouldn’t Run 10ks: (#Monument10k)
April 28, 2018, 12:03 pm
Filed under: Exercise, Posts | Tags: , , , , , , , ,
  1. In all of your race pics (at a purchase price of a mere $18 each), there’s no thrill of victory or agony of defeat – you just look irritated, like your headband is too tight.
  2. You get super-annoyed and embarrassed when the guy running in the inflatable T-Rex outfit passes you – and yet you just can’t muster up the energy to try and catch him. Grandmas doing that weird run/walk thing also pass you…you know the ones – their upper bodies look like they are running, but their legs are just walking.trex
  3. You pour water on your face so you look sweaty just before you run past your gym’s sponsor tent, then walk the rest of the way.
  4. Every hill feels like Mount Everest, and nothing like level 10 on the tread mill.
  5. You consider stopping to see if the nice first aid people need any help in their pretty red tents; then you find the port-o-john with the longest line and stand in it.
  6. You don’t care at all what your race time is – you’re just happy you finished without needing a trip to the orthopedist and a bottle of Aleve.
  7. You own the cool Bluetooth headset but still carry your phone in its ridiculous mom-phone case.
  8. You seriously consider taking one of the beers those college kids in the togas are handing out, but you know it will end in guilt, a handful of Tums and maybe vomiting stealthily on T-Rex guy’s shoes from behind.
  9. Your special running socks don’t do shit – your hips, legs, and even your size-A boobs hurt after mile one.   People who actually achieve nipple chafing seem like they’re another species.
  10. …and yet you sign up repeatedly for “races” with misplaced optimism:
  • “I know I can do more than one mile this year…”
  • “This year the weather will be warmer/cooler/sunnier/cloudier so I’ll do better…”
  • “Wait…you put me in which flight?”
  • “I’ll just start running with you guys and walk when I need to…”
  • “Next year I’m going to start training earlier…and dress up as a Velociraptor.”

1 Comment so far
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Funny, because I can see myself. Actually, you go further than I. I walked a 10 k a few years ago. And, I wasn’t last!

Comment by energywriter




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