Subourbon Mom

Dungeons, Dragons and D*!dos, Oh My!

If people judged me by the catalogs I receive, they would probably say I am a woman somewhere between the age of 12 and 75, I prefer being athletic outside (true), I occasionally have an interest in high-end hunting attire (nope), and I may have a fetish for dressing like I play Dungeons and Dragons (also no).

It’s the last catalog topic that I find the most fun.  The Pyramid Collection catalog,  which I receive because I somehow got on a list, is a clothing catalog for wanna-be wiccans, female Renaissance Faire attendees, and those on the fantasy side of Goth (not the EMO, skeletal, dyed black hair and white-face makeup Goths). It bills itself as “Myth, Magick, Fantasy & Romance.”   All true, if your idea of romance is to meet fellow wiccans wearing flowing blouses with  lacy sleeves (think Seinfeld’s “Puffy Shirt”),


you want to meet prince charming after a joust at your local Medieval Times,

Ren Dress

or your idea of fantasy is to meet a fellow enthusiast at ComiCon while waiting to do a meet-and-greet with the cast of Outlander or Game of Thrones.

Dress 1

But the most interesting thing about this catalog is that right in the middle, where the staples are and where it falls open is a double-page spread of a variety of sex toys for women.  So, in addition to buying the many fantasy-related accoutrements, you can also purchase some toys to help you relieve the loneliness that apparently is assumed will follow the initial purchase. It’s genius, really – cater to women’s fantasies, then cater to them not panning out – all in one catalog.

Perhaps other catalogs should follow suit, in their own way:  Athleta and LuLu Lemon could also put a spread in their catalogs that include the inevitable cheese boards, pizzas and wine that somehow seem to follow those departed New Year’s resolutions.

W CatalogMen’s catalogs could offer sleek suits and upscale weekend wear, but also include a spread with wings, onion rings and a selection of porn (not that I condone porn in any way) when the suits don’t hide the douchey-ness beneath, and they once again are seated with their buddies on a Friday night at BW3s instead of out on a date.

I just can’t believe this marketing trend hasn’t caught on before – addressing the “Who I Want to Be” part of the customer, as well as the “Ok, This is Who I Am” portion, all in one place.

Land’s End is gonna have to step up their game.




10 Comments so far
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Comment by Norm Armitage

Reading through this I’m thinking I’m gonna have to make a homorous comment about Lands End. Then I read the last line 😂 But just like people probably buy the D&D gear plus some sex toys for role playing, perhaps people could buy Lands End stuff to role play things like “insurance agent and sexy housewife collecting on life insurance policy” or “Sears appliance saleswoman and single guy college grad who just bought new condo”, etc…

Comment by Brown Road Chronicles

Great ideas! I think Victoria’s Secret catalogs could also be interesting… BTW glad you’re writing again!

Comment by subourbonmom

That was hilarious and spot on!

Comment by Sue ann

Thanks SA!

Comment by subourbonmom

That was hilarious and spot on!

Comment by Sue ann

Great post😀

Comment by Passport Overused

Glad you enjoyed it!

Comment by subourbonmom

Giggle! You said it. I live in a small attached house (no land involved) and I get lots of garden catalogs. I could maybe grow one tulip in my living room. ????

Comment by energywriter

I used to get Birds and Blooms, and I have cats that eat birds and I live in the woods so blooms are few an far between… 🙂

Comment by subourbonmom

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